LOG ON	Making the wood stove hotter
LOGOFF	Don't add wood
MONITOR	Keep an eye on da wood stove after you add a log and open da draft
MEGAHERTZ	When a big log drops on your bare foot in the morning.
FLOPPY DISK	What you get from piling too much wood.
RAM	Da hydraulic thing that makes da wood splitter work.
HARD DRIVE	Getting home during most of da winter in Yooperland.
PROMPT	What you wish da mail was during da snow season.
ENTER	Come on in.
WINDOWS	What you shut when it gets 10 below.
SCREEN	What is a must during black fly season.
CHIP	What you munch during the Packer game.
MICRO CHIP	Whats left in da bag when da chips are gone.
MODEM	What you did to da hay fields last July.
DOT MATRIX	Eino Matrix's Wife.
LAP TOP	Where the grandkids sit
KEY BOARD	Where you're supposed to hang all your keys so da wife can find them.
SOFTWARE	Them plastic picnic utensils.
MOUSE	What leaves those little turds in da cupboard.
MAINFRAME	Da part of da sauna that holds up the roof.
PORT	Where da commercial fishin boats dock.
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY	When you can't remember how much you spent on the new deer rifle when Wifee asks about it